9 Comments
User's avatar
Shayne Rich's avatar

🖤

Kathrine Elaine's avatar

Okay. There are many beautiful lines, and I enjoyed the eerie vibe of this poetic horror, I love it when the prose sings. But I would wish you’d given me more of a story to grasp. Ambiguous works for horror but the piece still needs those solid bones of the plot as a foundation. I know you see the story perfectly clear in your head, but I’d wished you give me more of it.

matilda's avatar

Thank u so much this is useful!!!! I wrote a whole short story originally but I didn’t like it so I cut like 98% and this was what was left…I might rewrite it a bit and post it soon. thank u for the feedback 😊

Kathrine Elaine's avatar

Thank you for writing it! I really do love poetic horror.

A-ha! I knew something was missing! You kept all that goodness to yourself!😁

Don’t cut your stories much. Let the readers enjoy them in full.

poppy ⋆˚࿔'s avatar

I am obsessed with everything about u and this piece😭😭🫶

matilda's avatar

thank you so much poppy 😯🤭💕

C S Pafford's avatar

I totally misread a word in that first sentence and it totally changed the tone of the whole article😅

Lydia's avatar

Amazing first line

matilda's avatar

Thank you Lydia! 💜